This week's quote

Team,

I didn't get a chance to say this week's quote on the call. Here is a little inspiration for all of you as community leaders in closing the digital divide.

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. John Quincy Adams 

~Holly

Overcoming the Greatest Barrier to Success - My Own Self Talk, Impatience, and Resistence

I have been meaning to blog for quite awhile now. And, honestly, even knowing how important the reflection piece is to the Service Learning model, I keep finding time to push it off for something I perceive is more important. Then I had one of those pivotal Vista moments and I knew I had to take time to reflect - to share.

My Service assignment is in New Orleans, a city which is easy to fall in love with, even in all it's challenging post-Katrina nuances. They call it the "Big Easy" for a reason and anyone who has come for Festival Season, Cafe au lait in the French quater, or to participate in the rebuilding projects across the city can tell you that it's a city rich in culture, connection, and creative arts. So it was pretty much without second thought that for most of the first quarter I went with the flow, carried onward without hesitation towards the (let's be honest) partially understood project plan objectives, filling in the Vista Assignment Description measures of progress as I went, one haphazard community connection at a time. And at first, there was no resistance, only joy - only the spirit of New Orleans, of service, and of a willingness to be slightly uncomfortable for the sake of it all. I couldn't even pin point when the shift occurred, exactly, but I am sure that it was just suddenly and overwhelmingly clear that things were amiss.

All of the connection and chaos culminated in a fuzzy vision of too many community assets and needs - disjointed in my inability to connect them and to simply state or easily reach our shared vision for success in our respective missions. I was a ball of raw nerved, communication overloaded, hungry, exhausted, and for the first time cynical and disheartened version of my former vibrant self. Relationships seemed to crumble before my eyes and the adage "A great Idea doesn't care who has it" no longer held meaning, crushed under the weight of potential partner concerns, repeating myself over and over in hope of achieving a shared understanding and of creating a common ground. It was honestly like trying to over forward through mud...think, stinking, suck you up to you knees, mud. It was a new place to be for me, as I am normally a bubbly, outgoing, connected person - looking for the next community link or partnership in an effort to save the world, but was instead, very disconnected - attached to the idea and rigid structure of one possible map and the partners outlined within. I thought, damn it, if I spent this much time and energy on this, it better move forward, regardless of what the other organizations and stakeholders needed of wanted.

I was ready to throw in the towel, finally though, when Justin (my roommate) just up and moved out, with no notice, 5 days late on rent, owing last months utilities on top of this months...and so it was that I found myself with a raging sense of self-righteousness, standing on the street car stop, almost ready to lose my fury and disappointment onto the whole of the Service Movement. It is easy to slip into this dark place, when living at the poverty level and striving to create social change through building a capacity, everyone says they want, but none will step up to take or lead. It was in this space, this dark and selfish place, filled with pride and a sense of disconnected, loathing for it all, that i found my greatest benefit in a choice to give it up.

They say you get more out of this year, than you do in many years doing other things, I guess because it's so huge - what we're taking on. I have definably found that lesson in today's unfolding of events and circumstances. On the other side of it all, the lay in wait for me, a grand feeling of stillness and peace, the discomfort melted away in the warm voice of the first partner to share and actually "GET" my vision and how it could work, through partnership. As I explained the overview and we brainstormed around the foundation to create a shared vision, I realized that had the other partnership been a GO, I might have stopped looking to create and missed out on a vital piece of the puzzle. Again, I am feeling the natural flow of life, connection, and the Service Experience - but i think I am infinitely more wise and centered in the knowledge and first hand experience of a possibly for breakdowns in planning, during implementation and often when we are least expecting them and they are able to catch us off guard, if we do not continually practice the self talk and language of "idealism" or don't take the time to nurture the relationships we value and will need so desperately during those doom~N~gloom periods.

Thus, I am moving into the weekend with a lot of things to sit with, figure out, and if needed be willing to let go, but I do not face it heavy hear ted and still remain clear that I am right where I need to be, learning through serving, and will not be lacking in opportunities for personal and professional growth of which can only serve to enhance my creativity, passion, skills, and value to others. Indeed, it has been a GOOD Friday, after all.

NOLA Tax Van

The Tax Van has arrived in NOLA for the week! Lauren is here and taxes are being filed.

The last couple of weeks have been exciting here in New Orleans. For the last couple of week we have been coordinating with our community partners to finalize locations for the Tax Vans. As with any project, things are never perfectly smooth. We had a last minute site cancellation. This lead to a fun couple of days as we scrambled to find a replacement. But throughout the whole process, bumps in the road included, its been exciting.

One a personal note, this week has been a highlight for me. Being on site with the Tax Van as it makes its way through New Orleans has been my first chance to get a direct look at the impact our projects have on the community. Working with our community partners and community members has been enriching.

-Brian